Lovely valium! I relate so much to this - I used to love drugs n alcohol too before I knew I was autistic or anything and then after I quit (cos they stopped working so well) I realised I'm actually incredibly sensitive to EVERYTHING.
Glad you got to harness the magic of sanctioned drug use to get through your flight and enjoy the journey!
What a journey, physically and emotionally! Recovery time is so important, but I still get so frustrated at having to take that time. You mentioned having CFS in the past. Is recovering from CFS something you discuss in any posts?
Thanks for the link 💖 the first half of that essay, with all the sensory stressors, was really intense for my body 😂 I did discover that a significant amount of my fatigue was me going into freeze/flop. Things have gotten much better, but I still fatigue so easily so there's other factors in there I haven't unravelled yet. Interesting that your fatigue was wrapped up in your nervous system activating & not having permission (socially) to feel & establish safety too, but in a different way. Or maybe I need to express some rage--for some reason my mother-in-law comes to mind 😂 cliche, I know!
Welcome back to the UK soil. Thank you for sharing, as you always do, from your heart with such vivid storytelling.
So many people I’ve spoken to, (women + neurodivergent folk) have found an upsurge in emotion this year and a need to release them and connect with nature, in a very specific and meaningful way.
It sounds as though your nervous system wanted that release and the universe had a plan for you on the day that every being was closed. I hope you found the tears falling to be cathartic and the release you needed in that moment. I find that healing and grief work can often look like hurting.
Hi Louise - so lovely to hear from you 😊 Yes the tears were so cathartic - thank you. I was saying last night to my daughter how I do seem to be crying a lot more nowadays, and how this is a good thing, that I am actually able to release, and maybe something (trauma) has finally thawed in me. I find it very interesting your comments about an upsurge in emotion this year... which would make total sense if we consider the chaos and turmoil of the world and how sensitive some of us are to these greater global energies so you've given me another layer to consider. Sending love and healing vibes to you ✨
Hi Kira - ooh great question. Type B - definitely. Neurotypical I'm not so sure... Valium makes you super drowsy, and I can't remember my thought processes. Next time I fly long-haul(and take Valium) I'll try to get more of an idea of how it changes my rigid thinking and other aspects of neurodivergence - if it all. Initial thoughts are that it doesn't change this, but that if I have to interrupt plans, routines, and set ways of doing things, there is far less anxiety about it? I'm going to reflect on this more - thank you 😊
So lovely to read one of your posts again Hannah, I’ve been missing them. I often think it is better to leave when you don’t want to it leaves a reason to return rather than a total ending. Hopefully you’ve bought the weather back with you 😘😘
aww thanks so much Jo, I really appreciate your lovely words 💕 I've really missed writing them. I just needed to take some time away from the screen. And yes, I will definitely be returning to Vietnam - once I've worked out what I think about it all - lol! 😊
Hi Hannah, Thank you for sharing from your heart, authentically. Tears can be so cathartic!
So Cathartic ✨ Thanks Laura 😊
Lovely valium! I relate so much to this - I used to love drugs n alcohol too before I knew I was autistic or anything and then after I quit (cos they stopped working so well) I realised I'm actually incredibly sensitive to EVERYTHING.
Glad you got to harness the magic of sanctioned drug use to get through your flight and enjoy the journey!
Hi Chelsey 👋 Lovely valium indeed! lol. "harness the magic of sanctioned drug use" - I LOVE this so much - thank you ✨
What a journey, physically and emotionally! Recovery time is so important, but I still get so frustrated at having to take that time. You mentioned having CFS in the past. Is recovering from CFS something you discuss in any posts?
Hi Briar - I haven't written about it in detail (something I intend to do), but I did write a bit about how I healed in this post, and there are some resources in there. https://hannahanstee.substack.com/p/my-autistic-rage-why-repressed-anger
Thanks for the link 💖 the first half of that essay, with all the sensory stressors, was really intense for my body 😂 I did discover that a significant amount of my fatigue was me going into freeze/flop. Things have gotten much better, but I still fatigue so easily so there's other factors in there I haven't unravelled yet. Interesting that your fatigue was wrapped up in your nervous system activating & not having permission (socially) to feel & establish safety too, but in a different way. Or maybe I need to express some rage--for some reason my mother-in-law comes to mind 😂 cliche, I know!
Welcome back to the UK soil. Thank you for sharing, as you always do, from your heart with such vivid storytelling.
So many people I’ve spoken to, (women + neurodivergent folk) have found an upsurge in emotion this year and a need to release them and connect with nature, in a very specific and meaningful way.
It sounds as though your nervous system wanted that release and the universe had a plan for you on the day that every being was closed. I hope you found the tears falling to be cathartic and the release you needed in that moment. I find that healing and grief work can often look like hurting.
Sending love and strength.
Hi Louise - so lovely to hear from you 😊 Yes the tears were so cathartic - thank you. I was saying last night to my daughter how I do seem to be crying a lot more nowadays, and how this is a good thing, that I am actually able to release, and maybe something (trauma) has finally thawed in me. I find it very interesting your comments about an upsurge in emotion this year... which would make total sense if we consider the chaos and turmoil of the world and how sensitive some of us are to these greater global energies so you've given me another layer to consider. Sending love and healing vibes to you ✨
Open question: is "on valium" how it feels to be neurotypical? Or at least the "type b" friend?
Hi Kira - ooh great question. Type B - definitely. Neurotypical I'm not so sure... Valium makes you super drowsy, and I can't remember my thought processes. Next time I fly long-haul(and take Valium) I'll try to get more of an idea of how it changes my rigid thinking and other aspects of neurodivergence - if it all. Initial thoughts are that it doesn't change this, but that if I have to interrupt plans, routines, and set ways of doing things, there is far less anxiety about it? I'm going to reflect on this more - thank you 😊
So lovely to read one of your posts again Hannah, I’ve been missing them. I often think it is better to leave when you don’t want to it leaves a reason to return rather than a total ending. Hopefully you’ve bought the weather back with you 😘😘
aww thanks so much Jo, I really appreciate your lovely words 💕 I've really missed writing them. I just needed to take some time away from the screen. And yes, I will definitely be returning to Vietnam - once I've worked out what I think about it all - lol! 😊